I'm sitting here at work not doing much - so before I do the one little piece of work I have to do I'll say this.
I find that life presents me with many opportunities to numb my brain and that it is a struggle for me to resist the urge to continue to sedate myself. My dreams of a better life relate not to a greater material standard of living, but to the realization of a potential currently unreached. Which is why from time to time I try to read a new book, write a new piece of music, etc.
I just want to train my brain, or even my soul, to do a better job at this self improvement. I literally need to reorient who I am in order to do this.
In other news, I have been creating many graphical scores inspired by the Chautisa Yantra magic square. There are certain symmetries that are being revealed through this process that I am only getting an inkling of now. They are sometimes frustrating but I think they will result in music that works.